Archive for January, 2010
“If feeding
my stuffed hippopotamus ice cream keeps me sane, then that’s what I have to do.”
-Issue 7, November 2007
“How dare you heathens
steal my rotting fruit. That spoiled fruit was going to be used as currency in the new society I’m constructing. You pathetic mothballs slowed down that process and now you will pay. I bet you all didn’t know that I’ve studied the Enchanted Symbolism of Nocturnal Marsupials. The curse I’m about to place on you will rearrange your senses, you’ll taste with your eyes, smell with your skin, touch with your tongue, see with your ears, and hear with your nose.”
-Issue 8, December 2007
“I don’t why
I miss Jeff so much. Maybe it was the way he’d call me fat when his friends were around or how he’d video tape me hula hooping then post the video on the internet with the caption ’seizure victim.’”
-Issue 7, November 2007
“A man,
wearing a fuzzy motorcycle helmet and a skin tight leopard jump suit, who is so good at communication he can talk to 5 people at once, using his mouth, eyes, toes (even if he’s wearing shoes), tongue, and hips, will lecture everyone about how simple and important communication is.”
-Issue 19, November 2008
How many
proofreading errors are seriously in Laborliss Magazine? A ton. In the early days, we couldn’t afford much of anything and a proofreader or a real editor was one of them.
Socially Acceptable Sayings
Sacajowea: This is now a random name that can be used for anything. “Can you pace me that Sacajowea?” “Hey, Sacajowea!” “Sometimes I get so frustrated. Ah, Sacajowea.”
Deeky Wamma-This is a very obscure and advanced word in the “I’m better than you culture.” It means “I’m better than you just because.”
Big Daddy-You can call any thing with a heart beat Big daddy. People love it. Try it and see how many more friends you make.
Laborliss
is the stupidest project on Earth.
Are you dumb?
Are you stupid?
Do you want things without having to work for them?
Do you think that you’re better?
Do you think you should be given special privileges?
Do you feel empty inside?
Welcome to Laborliss!
“Snot induced
tantrums were what the bystanders saw as I ran down the most crowded street I could find, cutting off handfuls of my hair and throwing them at the strangers just to deal with how I felt.”
-Issue 33, January 2010
Have you ever been in a situation where you weren’t the cool kid?
Where you weren’t selected?
How’d that make you feel?
Have you ever seen someone do less than you yet get more?
Did you ever wanna fight back?
Do you feel we should just let this go on?
This culture of never accomplishing anything?
Is this culture of low integrity people trying to gain attention good?
What is all this about?